She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
