Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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