the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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