He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
