oh god the rape fog is back!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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