He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
