dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
