I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Randomize
