If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
