wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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