would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
