Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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