My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
