dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
