i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
