Porn is love you can see.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
