help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
