ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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