Screwed.edu
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
