I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
