Welp...herpes.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
