you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
