non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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