I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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