The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
