Swine flu. Run for my life!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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