But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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