Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
