Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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