I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
