so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
