I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
