I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
