i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
