Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize