3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
