I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
