I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
