Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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