This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
