I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
