I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
