everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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