oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
