just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
