I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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