508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
