hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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