He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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