what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
