Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
