I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize