Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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