I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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