Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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