They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
