Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
