My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize
