I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
