No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
