it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize