Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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