Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
